EGG FRIED RICE

Well considering my local chinese knows my orders by heart it's time to upset them and refuse them sale while I desperately try to save money!

Luke's Egg Fried Rice!

Cooked but relatively cooled Rice.
1x Egg (Beaten).
Half a teaspoon of Salt.
2 pinches of pepper.
2 tablespoons of peas
2 tablespoons of little prawns.

1. Put your wok on the gas!
2. Put a relatively small drizzle of sunflower oil in your wok once it's warmish
3. Beat the egg up, then mix the pepper in with it.
4. Microwave or use your rice cooker to make the rice.
5. Put beaten up egg into wok. Watch it spit and make pretty white and yellow.
6. Chuck the rice in stir frantically!
7. Take the prawns swimming with the rice and egg.
8. Put peas under hot/warm water to defrost those sons of bitches!
9. Chuck peas in.
10. Add salt.
11. Rock out to Iron Maiden's Holy Smoke which is about 3:40 minutes long. Stir-frying your meal.
12. Take that bastard out the wok and into the bowl.
13. Put fork to bowl then fork to mouth and experience bliss.

How much does this cost you say?

Single serving.

• Uncle Ben's Express Long Grain Rice (£0.89)
• Egg (£0.19)
• Peas (£0.10)
• Prawns (£1.00)
• Salt & Pepper (Free at any weatherspoons)
• TOTAL £2.18
  

Bulk serving for 6 (Recommended)

• 6x Sachets of Uncle Ben's (£5.34)
• 6x Eggs (£1.08)
• Peas (£0.60)
• Prawns (£6.00)
• Salt & Pepper (Free)
• TOTAL £13.74

This can be made ridiculously cheap if you don't go for the Uncle Ben's or the Prawns. The cost is about 60p a dish!

Let me tell you, I made this today. It was beautiful. I felt bad eating it, It felt like eating a 16th century art masterpiece.


Next on the list for cooking is the following (in no particular order)

• Sweet and Sour Chicken
• Pizza's (including dough rolling and making)
• Kung Po Pork
• A decent Salad which tastes good and fills you up.
• Lamb Tikka Masala
• Szechuan Beef

I'm quite full and satisfied. Rice is good for filling you up. The Indians and Chinese are masters in the cooking department. I will make myself learn their ways.

This is a slightly better looking version of what I made, with Spring Onions, Carrots & Chicken.

Say good bye one and two.

So just like 98% of the worlds other obese people, this year I'll be attempting to resist Domino's Pizza. Of course this is going to fail horribly but it gets better. I'm quitting all shite foods. I'm doing it realistically and cheating though, Basically one take-away a month, Pizza, Chinese, McDonalds etc. So what am I going to do? This is impossible you say? why would you do that to yourself?

My weight? A lean mean 19stone and counting?
It's not really an issue, sure I'd like to see my dick, but hey If I do some ritualistic movements of mirrors in my bathroom and breathe in like I'm being trapped inside a corset I can see it. So it's all good.

Acne, well it's true the more grease and junkfood you eat the spottier you get. This isn't really a problem either, I use girly products on my face from time to time, especially when my face looks like pizza. Clear facial moisturiser works, not just as something to make you look cleaner but it really does wake your face up.

The shits! Yeah too much junkfood results in chapters and chapters of reading my favorite book on the bog. This isn't a good thing because junkfood is normally cooked by minimum-waged careless daydreaming kids. That Domino's Pizza doesn't have much attention put into it. Working in food before I can say that most places seem to by-pass some food hygiene standards also. This can result is customers feeling a little runny or pebbledashy the following day. But to be honest, when foods that tasty it's worth the fallout your toilet recieves the next day.

So what the fark is it then?

The money, christ it hurts. Doing the maths on this is silly. 1 Pizza a week, 2 Take-Aways and normally 2 fast food's

fast food = £4.50 meal + drink
Take Away = £8.00
Pizza = £12.00

£39.00 a week.
£126.00 a month.
£1512.00 per annun!

HOLY DIVER!


So let's learn how to cook instead Luke.

Entry the First!

Bloggidy blog blog blob blog,

Why am I doing this. If anyones bizarre enough to read this then enjoy. 2008 will be interesting. Expect a lot of talk about oriental cooking and Magic the Gathering. Maybe World of Warcraft and maybe some tits! Ok.... maybe not any tit's, but all the time it's goin' rock!